And now it’s time to brag a little…

Some of the things I have are really completely worthless, aside from their comic face value. And I don’t mean worthless like it’s not worth any money, I mean worthless like the WNBA. But every once in a while, I acquire a treasure so great, that just holding on to it makes me pee a little bit.

While I was working at Yo Gabba Gabba season 3, I participated from time to time in the dress up days; everyday of production there was a dress up theme. During lunch, we would hold a contest between Boys and Girls and were voted down to a few finalists, and then based on the level of applause by our peers, a winner was selected. Often times, when the theme called for it, there would be some kind of showdown, too. FOR EXAMPLE; on punk day, a house band comprised of Warren from the Vandals and Ricky and Ian from The Aquabats, would play an obligatory punk song, and the finalists had to make a song up on the spot and sing it for the crowd. Fun Stuff.

Usually the prizes ranged from cool Kid Robot stuff, Gabba merchandise, a VHS copy of Great Encounters of the Third kind from the private collection of Christian Jacobs (co-creator and director) or a large tub of canned white chicken meat we found in the kitchen one time. So putting our dignity on the line for one day while dressing like a sexy homeless person COULD in fact pay off with a really practical gift.

SIDE NOTE: On “dress like your favorite co-worker day” two people dressed like me. And one of them was a guy! HOW SILLY!

 I never really took a lot of the dress up days very serious, wearing a costume meant being super sweaty all day, and my job (Van PA) usually sent me all over the Greater Los Angeles area. So being dressed like a native american or a Las Vegas call girl while picking up camera expendables in Glendale didn’t really top my list of “Things that make my job SUPER fun!” Often times I wouldn’t even be back in time for lunch to partake in the activity.

Anyways, Used Car Salesman day rolled around and something in me came alive. I knew my schedule was sparse and I also knew that our special fun time guest, who would be joining us for lunch, was MARK MOTHERSBAUGH. First of all, my first concert when I was 11 was Devo and and second, Mark Mothersbaugh is to things I like as magnets are to Juggalos. Fucking Magical all up in this bitch.

I put on the sleeziest outfit I could find, slicked my hair like a comb over, drew on a mole, wore a gold necklace and VOILA! Oleg the Russian Car Salesman was born. I walked around all day screaming, “Opah!” and telling people about “cousin Boris and his hi-tek radio systems. I give deal!”

So lunch started, and I was selected as one of the male finalists. But would I win? Each of the finalists were given the opportunity to sell themselves to the crew as to why they should win. So each chester the molester, pervin mervin, meeley eddie and fast talkin Joe took their chance, each having success in their own way. I remember Avi our head electric killing it, and Joel Fox, master of all things cool, doing a great Cal Worthington impression. Then it came to me.

Friends, when you are faced with pleasing a large group of people who are anticipating the laugh, lean on the side of caution and go for the easy joke. Does it always work? No, but most of the time It does. Because when pretending to be a Russian Used Car Salesman named Oleg, making fun of an entire nation for treating their women like mules apparently works a room over pretty well.

“IF YOU VOTE FOR ME, YOU CAN ALL MARRY MY DAUGHTER!”

Big Laughs, Big applause.

Did I mention that Steve Agee from The Sarah Silverman Show was there too? What a nice guy.

So Christian decided to let Mark Mothersbaugh and Steve Agee come to a decision as to WHO the winner was, instead of the traditional applause-off. During their deliberation, Mark stood up and said, “The Russian!”

RUSSIA WON! THE WAR IS OVER! RUSSIA WON!

I honestly think my boner got a boner, I was so happy.

What was my prize? A silver painted football from season 1 and a sharpie. The entire day, I walked around set with the pen having everyone from the crew sign the football. These people were my friends, but each and every one of them were incredible artists and extremely talented in one way or another, so having their signature was an absolute honor. However, My favorite signature on the ball, which hopefully you can see, is Mark Mothersbaugh’s energy dome with the inscription, “GO RUSSIA!”

THE MORAL OF THIS STORY. Tell every child you know to watch Yo Gabba Gabba, because the only thing I want to do right now is be back on set with all of my wonderful Gabba friends, for a very long time.